Can this still be sexy?

I’ve been thinking a lot about what happens to love, romance and courtship in a struggling economy. Does the question of who’s paying become a more sensitive issue? When a Beemer turns into a BART ticket, can this still be sexy?

Look around. Would be fairy tale weddings are morphing into a trip to the courthouse and afterwards a dinner for 5. Not that this has to become any less special, but so much has to be let go.

Few are going to the movies, purchasing art, or seeing shows.

Would be diamond rings or romantic trips to Hawaii are turning into semi precious occasions, memories lined with coupons, frozen dinners and buffets instead of Le Cheval and the Gourmet Ghetto. Many in glittery mansions now find themselves in their mothers houses, or in humble 2 bedroom apartments, or with bills being the only thing over their heads.

A would be nest egg or 401K tucked away for a retirement escape a Guatamala to perch forever with a loved one is now used to escape forclosure, and where in this does romance exist?

What is sexy about holes in your socks, tape on your glasses and red in your bank account? Being single, when is there even time to think about love, romance and courtship when it gets this bad?

And romance definitely has to be redefined when the potential, relative or proverbial man of your dreams approaches you and asks you out…. but doesn’t have a car. (If you think I'm shallow, so what? Keep reading.)

He is 33 years old and he lives with his brother in a 1 bedroom apartment strangely too close to your hood. He was laid off months ago and lost…everything. Just got back on his feet and happens to work for the same company that you do. And this is all you know about him.

And now, considering the bleak state of romance in this economy, seeing that fairy tales are financially besides themselves, not withholding tradition and chivalry, holding on to what it means to want to feel like a lady, to want to be swept off of your feet, and knowing that this type of loss is real and rampant and can happen to anyone….

Could you then become the knight in shining armor? Showing up at his door to pick him up for a first date that he initiated and about which you are somewhat ambivalent? Is this a time to lower one's expectations or to stretch one's ideals?

Could you make new sense of it? Rationalize it somehow? Can this still be sexy?

Being a hopeless romantic, having hope for the best of any situation, and trying to roll with the times, I accepted the invitation and took the happy medium. I told him we could meet wherever would work best for him. The issue has not been resolved because he hasn’t called back since. Perhaps he was having his own struggles with the redefinition of romance in these trying times.