Contrary to popular belief, I have not given up on giving up sugar. This week was a particularly good week in my journey to sugar-free. I renewed my commitment on Sunday and all week long all I had was a couple bites of dark chocolate and one very important bite of a cookie.
What is so important about biting a cookie you might ask? Well when you’re a true sugar addict, it means everything.
This is how the story goes:
At work there is always free food lying around. I mean literally, on your way to the bathroom and heading back to your desk you may trip over a couple doughnuts, have a brownie thrown in your face or even be physically confronted by…the almighty chocolate chip cookie. As a sugar addict in recovery it is my worst nightmare! And the worst part about it is that I happen to sit by the kitchen so all I have to do is spin around in my little cubicle and often there, laid out on the kitchen counter, are all the sugary snacks I could ever dream of. And they’re free! What torture.
On Friday I was having a particularly difficult day, emotions were running high and I knew that at some point this would be the day that I would slip. It was just a question of how big a slip and when and where the slip would occur.
Well, it was lunchtime and I went to the fridge to get my lunch because I had been a very good girl and brought my lunch to save money and to save face. On my way to the fridge….there it was a big chocolate chip cookie and a sandwich, laying out on the counter where all the free food is left to tempt and test me.
So of course I walked by it a few times trying to talk myself out of it. With each turn my heart was racing. "How much damage will it really do?" "What if I just take one bite?" "How many calories are in one bite?" "You don't need that, just shake it off." After a few times back and forth I was no longer listening to the questions in my mind. All I knew was that I had to have some and I had to have it fast. Need cookie in bloodstream now! So, I gave in and pinched a little corner off of the cookie and placed it in my mouth. I felt my thoughts slow, my heart settle. I saw what I had done. And it was good.
Here’s the thing. As it turned out, my friends, on that day the food was not free.
I get to my desk and grab my bag and with in a few seconds I hear. “Oh my god! Someone ate some of this!”
In that moment I realized what had happened and I nearly died. The impossible had become possible.
I ACTUALLY ATE SOMEBODY’S LUNCH.
With the true shame and embarrassment of a true addict. I came out from behind my cube and confessed. “It was for my BOSS!” She said. And then I litterally laid down on the floor and died.
This is how you know when you are a true sugar addict. I hope I never see that girl again!
